Until a couple of years ago, I was pretty much in a relationship my whole adult life. Now, in my thirties, I find myself single.
I quite like being single, I work a lot and I train in the gym a lot so I don’t get much free time apart from the weekends. I’m not actively seeking a relationship nor am I concerned about not having one, I have a good job, I have my own apartment, I’m doing okay and generally, I’m happy.
So why am I writing this?
The thing is, at my age there’s societal pressure, soon enough I’ll be too ‘old’ for having kids, I’m pretty sure I don’t want any but it doesn’t stop me from occasionally thinking ‘but what if I do one day and the time has passed?’.
Also, being someone who is single and not actively dating, it can get pretty lonely sometimes… First off, some of my best friends are tucked in far away corners of the UK and even abroad. Then there’s those close by who are married with kids – I see them often but you can’t just drag them out to the pub on a whim or sunny day. Then there are the male friends who went and got girlfriends who it’s suddenly no longer appropriate to hang out with them.
Then there’s the guy who I had a brief encounter with, who, although we agreed we weren’t looking for relationship potential in each other, we had fun and agreed it’d be cool to hang out. We kept in touch, yet 6 months later he’s not showed his face… I feel silly in hindsight for even thinking he would.
And then there’s the one who got away… Let’s not go there just now.
So, this in mind, weekends can be pretty damn lonely, and I’m just at a bit of a loss about what I should do about it. Perhaps it’s my own fault for wanting the best of both worlds, I want someone to hang out with, but I don’t want any of that intense stuff, been there, done that, it always ends badly in my experience.
Why don’t I get on the dating apps then?
Well, I’ve thought about it, but I think they require a lot of commitment and investment, the thought of even setting up a profile makes me groan, which makes me think its probably not the right thing for me right now. I’ve never used the apps before and also secretly quite like the fact I’ve met everyone in my life so far the traditional way. And if I did, I’d need to explain how I don’t want a hookup, but I also don’t want marriage and 2.4 children.
Anyway, I guess I’m just throwing this ramble out there because it makes me feel better to say it, but also might make someone in the same position feel their not the only one.
I’ve not blogged in a very long time, and this blog has never really had any direction, but from now on I’m hoping to write a little more to share my life experience and brain dumps with anyone willing to read!
Until next time